Hi. My Name Is Christine….

And I am addicted to sock yarn.Sure, it all starts out innocently enough. First you hear everyone who knits handmade socks say how wonderful they feel. Then you decide that you would like to learn how to knit socks. You accomplish your first pair, and then, a second pair. You buy a few skeins here and there so you can knit some more. As they are knit up, they become one of the prize items in your dresser. So prized that you take special care in laundering them, even getting one of those little shavers so that you can banish any pills that accumulate. They must always look perfect and new. Then you get a sock darning egg. You can’t stand the thought that if they should ever develop a hole that could render them useless. You save your leftover sock yarn just in case a pair should ever need repair. All those little bits of yarn taking up space in the stash corner. You look into your stash corner. Sure, you have the bargain sock yarn, deeply discounted. Then there’s the sock yarn you just had to have because you love the colors. Next, the gifted yarn, so gorgeous and beautiful, especially picked out for you because someone thought so highly of you for whatever reason. And the roving. The gorgeous roving you want to spin into sock yarn because they will be so perfect, and one of a kind. Your web browser has nearly every sock yarn shop bookmarked, especially those who carry your favorites. You print out free patterns, and purchase more sock knitting books than you could possibly ever use. Innocently, one day, you decide to browse around on ebay. What could it hurt? You just want to see what’s available. Then it happens. You find something that you just can’t pass up.

How could you pass up something as good as this? Normally, this would be $30 more. Sure, there’s shipping, but still, you end up with a deal. You prance around the house, so proud that you have just saved enough money to purchase a couple more hanks of Lorna’s Laces or another one of the high end yarns. You announce to your mate that you got a deal, and that more yarn is coming to live with you. You watch his face carefully, measuring his reaction. He gazes at you for a moment, and you can see he is calculating whether or not to finally tell you to your face that there couldn’t possibly be one more corner you can cram more yarn or fiber into. He doesn’t have to say it, deep down you know it but don’t want to admit to it. The look on your face tells him that he better tell you what a fantastic job you did on getting such a deal or he will suffer. He knows that you love him dearly, but heaven help him if he should try to get in the way of you and your stash.

You point out that there is enough yarn there to make nine pairs of socks, and each pair a different color. You stress that most of your socks are not solid colors and you really need some more solid color socks for those more conservative days, like when you go to visit his mother. You can feel the sweat building up on your brow as you wait for him to agree with approval. You don’t want to have to get ugly. More sock yarn is coming to live with you and you need it. You need to know that at any given moment, you can pick whatever color you like for whatever pattern you want. You need him to exclaim how wonderful this will all be. Mere seconds pass by. It feels like a lifetime. You see it on his face. Him, finally giving in to what he knows he must do if he wants to survive the weekend. A smile crosses his face. It is a pained expression for him. Then he says the words. There’s no conviction behind them, but he says the words.

“Wow. That’s really great.”

Those four words just saved his life. He knows this better than he knows what he’s having for dinner. You smile at him, throw your arms around him and toss the next question at him.

“Don’t you think I got a deal? Normally this yarn cost much more.”

And the torture of the yarn enhancement begins again. He is wise now. He is coming along well in his training. He glances around, contemplating routes of escape. Slowly he makes for the stairs as he searches for things to take up with him under the pretense that he must put things away. He smiles wider this time as he fills his arms.

“It’s a great deal.”

He makes his way to the first step, trying so hard to be casual. You let him off easy. More yarn is coming to live with you. You turn around to your computer, deciding to let him make his feeble escape. It’s time to read more blogs. More yarn is coming to live with you. You hear the stairs creak as he makes his way up each one with complete surrender. More yarn is coming to live with you. You decide to pull out a sock book and plan what you will make with the new sock yarn. It doesn’t matter that you still have a ton of sock yarn in your stash that you could use, because more yarn is coming to live with you.